Sunday, April 20, 2014

Giving myself a hug!

I haven't reported on my SE sessions for a while - but the work is subtle and sometimes I don't always think something has happened until later on. This week and last week's sessions are good examples. When I caught up with T (Therapist) on my session dated 11-4-14, we spent much of the time talking about my recent surgery and how  I had coped with the anaesthetic, which was far better than I can have imagined, and then post-surgery. We developed this discussion on my session dated 18-4-14. T had noticed on both sessions that I was weepy. T said, "let's embrace those tears." On the session dated 11-4-14 this abated very quickly, but on the 18-4-14 this went on in waves during the session. In fact, this had been going on for several days before the session. T said that it was important for these tears to come out, in whatever way they chose to come, and not to stop them. Something that was different about the latter session was that I opted to sit on the floor rather than the chair, as I had been doing for many weeks in the past. I am not sure of the reason for the change. I think there was a need to be feeling "grounded" and my back was very painful, so perhaps a need to feel the wall to support it rather than a chair.

During the session, I felt the need to push what I perceived as negative and stressful feelings away, using my arms and pushing out to the side, up above and down below. I put my finger tips together. T was impressed how quickly I was able to use my resources. I then added a new one to my repertoire, all of my own accord. I just started to give myself a hug. I stayed in this pose or position for a good few minutes. It made me feel safe and reassured.

As per usual, I left the session(s) feeling much more grounded, connected, calmer and safer in myself. I left the latter session to go and do a meditation, and was more present and in the moment than I have ever managed before.