My fifth somatic experiencing® SE® session started in a similar fashion to previous sessions with my therapist (T) asking how I was feeling 'right now'. I said that I felt more or less in my body and we talked a little about what that meant. I said how I had found the bath exercise of the week before harder than anticipated and that it was clear that I was still dissociating more than I thought. We talked some more about body contact. T asked how I would feel if approached and if T put T's foot on mine. I said that it would be OK, but my body gave a contradictory message and I flinched. T immediately retracted. T reframed things and asked about how I could be approached and that T would edge closer to me, but that I could stop T at any time I felt unsafe or threatened.
T and I were about 4 metres away from each other. T approached me and only got about as far from T's chair and one step towards me. T stopped. T said why had I not said "stop." I said that I couldn't and that I had simply frozen. Again, this was not what I expected having begun to gain trust in T and not felt threatened by T in any way, however, my body gave me away.
T then sat completely opposite me in the room, length ways so we were about 5 metres away from each other. T talked about physical and spatial boundaries. T got me to have a go at saying "no" in an assertive way with my arms outstretched firstly out in front of me, then upwards to the ceiling and then pointing downwards. I felt strong and empowered. This was the end of this session.
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