Thursday, October 17, 2013

Fourth Session of Somatic Experiencing ®

I came to my fourth session of SE® telling T (therapist) about my strange over-reactions to the pain CDs - these reactions were extremely surprising to me, and I am usually a "good student" who will do their homework. T said not to worry, and that they could be used again, and at least I had learned some things from them. We talked about how I felt. I said that I felt quite startled and threatened in myself and that I had edges. T and I had a long discussion about baths - because I said how much l loved being in the bath, so T suggested that an exercise for home might just be the physical experience of getting into the water; how that felt, with my feet, then my legs, bottom, rest of body etc. That would then be the end of the exercise. I agreed to do this.

I came home from SE® and later that evening I ran a bath. I stood in the bath and noticed the change of temperature from my feet which radiated to my head. I then lowered myself into the bath and noticed that my thighs had goosebumps. I heard the crackle of the bubble bath and lowered my bottom into the water. At this point I cut-out, or dissociated from my body.  I was aware it happened and certainly I cut out again by the time my body was submerged in the water. Again, I was surprised how much a (twice) daily activity presented me with such opportunities to physically "leave" or dissociate from my body. I tried the activity a few times in the week with very similar results. The feelings experienced before "cutting-out" were, I think both fear and shame.

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